Nothing to see here, move along...

Seeing My Way Out Of Partisanship
How We Think Changes What We Think — and what does compassion have to do with this anyway?

Dhyana Stanley
Feb 11 · 5 min read


unsplash.com/@karinalago

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the dynamics of partisanship and how I saw my way out of it (which is not to say it may not creep in from time to time) and in a nutshell, I can say it involved a commitment to intellectual honesty over emotion.

When my political views were largely partisan there was an inconsistency in my thinking — my line of reasoning was dishonest. It was difficult for me to listen to others who criticized those in my party even though I often internally acknowledged the criticism was warranted. And I found it near impossible to acknowledge something I agreed with about their party.

My criticism and agreement had to do with which party was involved — not in the action or issue itself. This inconsistent, illogical way of thinking was dishonest. The way I was reasoning had nothing to do with principles or values — it was largely about an emotional need for me to be perceived as right and them as wrong. It was based on emotion, not sound reasoning.

But then all of that started to shift as I committed myself to honesty. As I became more honest in how I was thinking I was amazed to find that what I was thinking began to change — from a very narrow partisan view to something much more universal and nonpartisan.

There’s coherence in honesty — and this consistency has a universal quality to it. Dishonesty is inconsistent, lacking integrity, and whatever lacks integrity only serves to confuse and seemingly keep us in opposition to each other. Honesty points us in the direction of clarity and harmony.

Dishonesty says, “I have certain values or principles I stand on yet I’m willing to let those principles slide depending on which party is involved or what suits my personal interests.” There’s a pattern of inconsistency in how we think. We tell ourselves we have certain principles we stand for yet we also tell ourselves that we’re justified in putting those principles on the back burner when it seems to suit our interests personally or politically. What we’re telling ourselves doesn’t match up not only with itself, so to speak, but with the principles, we say we stand on.

Honesty says, “Fundamental principles such as peace and freedom take precedent over political party or personal interest. No matter the cost to me personally or politically my commitment to these foundational truths remains intact.” There’s harmony — a consistency — in how we think or in what ‘we’re telling ourselves’. It all matches up. This pattern of thinking is in harmony not only with itself but with those innate principles — which is not to say there are never ‘blips’ in that pattern.

When our thinking not only begins to match up with itself but with those fundamental principles we value then what we think changes. We actually begin to think differently when we commit to consistency. What we think becomes more nonpartisan or universal, aligned with foundational principles rather than a particular political party or what suits our personal interests at the moment.

And the icing on the cake is two-fold— when how and what we think changes things actually begin to feel different and when we begin to feel different we tend to become much more compassionate toward others.

Honesty, consistency, clarity feel so much better than dishonesty, inconsistency, and confusion. And because this commitment to consistency feels much better than inconsistency we tend to become more willing to admit when we notice we’ve been inconsistent. As we allow this way of thinking to guide our understanding we come to see that’s it’s not other people who convince us of anything — it’s our own intelligence aligning itself with universal principles/truth and then from that foundation, the process of aligned reasoning continues. And that feels pretty good.

And also — when we notice how difficult it is sometimes for us to admit when we’ve been inconsistent we also tend to become much more compassionate when we notice others have as well — which also feels pretty good.

Seeing our way out of a chaotic, illogical, inconsistent, dishonest way of thinking is a process. Often a messy and at times difficult process. It involves an understanding of foundational principles and a commitment to honest, consistent alignment with those principles. Political parties and their agendas and our personal interests and our agendas become absolutely, unconditionally inconsequential in how we view issues or events — foundational principles are our ‘North Star’.

It’s not often easy to get unplugged from a way of thinking that we’re so programmed to stay plugged into. Most everyone is conditioned from a very young age to view things in extremely narrow, partisan ways and there seems to be a kind of safety in that way of thinking. After all, many think in terms of ‘us vs them’, ‘this vs that’ — and it may not be comfortable to even consider the possibility that there might be holes in that line of reasoning.

When we acknowledge the difficulty in our own process of becoming more aligned with principles and consistent in our thinking it’s easier to see that it’s likely not very easy for others either. Compassion rather than judgment always feels better — and so much more aligned with those principles we say we value.

We need to give each other (and ourselves) space to grow. To make mistakes and learn. To have some time to notice the difference between how it feels when we’re honest and when we’re dishonest and to acknowledge the freedom we all have in deciding which way we want to go.

This is not about perfection but it is about a direction.

And the amazing thing about compassion (as opposed to judgment) is that it actually nudges us to take a step in the direction toward consistency.

Compassion — with ourselves and others — works a kind of magic that judgment never, ever does.

“When an honest man realizes he is mistaken, he will either cease being mistaken, or he will cease being honest.” — Anonymous